Return of Saturn

Sometime ago, I lost the ability to feel my brain hemispheres communicate. It wasn't a faculty I pondered much, just something I couldn't help but notice: … it felt like a little horizontal electrical shock zapping across the median of my brain.

It was always in the same place: … directly in line with the center of my nose, a little forward from the top of my head. I don't remember when I first became aware of it exactly; I was in my late twenties or early thirties when I identified it.

Anyway, I was thinking about it recently, wondering what it meant and why it went away. My current conclusion is that it activated in response to changing brain function; it was a developmental trait. I suppose, in a fashion, it was an artifact of a brain war. I am certain it had everything to do with integration.

The electrical passageway switched into operation during contemplation ~ when I thought about idea implications or tried to reconcile discrepancies. Sometimes I was in philosophical mode and sometimes I was troubleshooting equipment malfunctions at work. The subject didn't matter.

Despite the infamous Christmas Erector Set gift ~ when, with all good intention, my father determined my five year old self had what it took to replicate the Eiffel Tower on our living room floor ~ my formative disposition was laissez-faire weighted and my tendencies were intuitive.

The need to function with and within structured parameters came much later ~ when joining the workforce became a matter of necessity. Until then, analytical thought wasn't a requisite survival skill. When it became necessary, I needed a new neural network.

The zaps, imo, were symptoms of a restructuring syndrome whose overall purpose was balance. It was kind of magical in that triggering was more organic than conscious … maturation processes automatically kicked in when I hadn't the tiniest a clue they were dormant!

What happened to me wasn't at all unusual, I think. The times of life when "… circumstances conspire to make us reconsider our past and devise new structures for the future" are called the Return of Saturn. Returns occur when Saturn re-presents itself in the position it held when we were born. Orbital time is 29.5 years.

Official citations for the effects of Saturn's reappearance are somewhat plastic. The first is generally pegged between the ages of 28-31 with an average age of 29.5. While I can't speak for today's generation, I know women used to experience it before men. Second returns are said to take place around age 60. My personal observation is that both windows are flexible. I've watched first returns start as early as age 24 and as late as 34 … I've seen second return onsets as early as 55. I haven't looked into thirds yet.

Interestingly, recent scientific studies indicate first Returns of Saturn have organic anchors. As per Dr. Jay Giedd of the National Institute of Mental Health:
"Consider the lobes at the front of the brain. The nerve circuitry here ties together inputs from other parts of the brain. … In short, the frontal lobes are key for making good decisions and controlling impulses. … Brain scans show that the frontal lobes don't mature until age 25."

I'll be amazed if eventual research doesn't validate similar physical conditions for the later returns. Science following in the footprints of astrology aside, Saturn is often deemed the Lord of Karma, the Lord of Time and the Great Teacher … it's affiliated with responsibility, discipline, organization, security, science, authority, commitment, culture and tradition.

If you google Saturn's Return, you'll get a ton of references to turmoil, grey hair, painful lessons and general existential agony … basically the picture of a puritanical overlord comin' to whop us. Well, maybe … maybe not. The way I see it, it's relative.

The karmic element is the revealing key … what Saturn has to work with ~ the choices we've made, our karma, and our disposition ~ greatly shades interpretation. I completely agree with Jacquelyn Archer (Between the Pillars, February 2005):

"One of the mistakes as a young astrologer I made was to interpret Saturn’s energy as placing LIMITS and RESTRICTIONS on us. A gross misunderstanding of the potential energy this planet offers. Saturn illuminates for us where and how we RESTRICT and LIMIT ourselves. This energy employs us to literally think outside of the box we have put ourselves in. … During Saturn’s retrograde it’s back to school on learning new ways to approach life. TIME to bring to the consciousness the unconscious."*

Right on!

* http://www.indigoray.net/feb2005news.html